Radical Vulnerability
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Light a candle if you wish, and take a moment to center yourself where you are for a time of reflection and prayer. Give thanks for something that you are carrying with you into this moment.
When was the last time you walked out after a rain shower or thunderstorm to catch the arrival of a rainbow? Now, consider how that moment is only possible when there is both sunshine and rain.
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.
- Brené Brown
Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not to your own interests but to the interests of others.
Food For Thought
A friend once shared a story with me about an unlikely friendship that had significantly influenced her life.
She shared that one afternoon around noon, there was a series of super loud knocks at her front door. She opened the door to a masked man whom she didn’t recognize immediately, but then realized it was a longtime friend of hers that she hadn’t seen in over a year.
His life hadn’t been easy—he had a record and had been without steady employment and housing for periods of time. Seven years before that moment, he knocked on her door to see if he could mow the lawn for some food or cash. He didn’t do a great job, but he kept coming back and he kept getting better at it. Her family saw him weekly or monthly or every few months, depending on the season and whether he was working other jobs.
Over time, they became friends and would swap stories and share a meal or lemonade. They would sit and talk about the joys and the challenges of life. When my friend’s marriage collapsed, he offered her kindness and also challenged her to pull it together. And when his life would go off track, she did the same.
When he had a job, he would check in every once in a while to let her know he was doing okay. And then he disappeared.
Back to those super loud knocks on the door. He was brimming with excitement as he handed her an envelope. His voice kind of quivered as he said, “It’s an invitation to my wedding. I’m getting married, and I have a steady job, and my life is so GOOD!” His lovely fiancé joined them on the porch, and they all celebrated. Their joy wrapped up in his joy!
What started with a stranger knocking at the door evolved into trust and care and mutual respect. A friendship that was born of radical vulnerability and a willingness to truly see one another exactly where they were.
Brené Brown is a sociologist who has invested the past twenty years of her research to work about shame and vulnerability. She says that although vulnerability is often seen as weak, it is actually deeply rooted in courage.
As a society, we work hard to protect ourselves with perfectionism and judgment, proving our self-worth, and outperforming those around us all in an effort to keep everyone else from seeing our screw-ups, our imperfections, our fears. We do this because allowing oneself to be known so completely is absolutely terrifying! But allowing oneself to be seen and known—and allowing oneself to fully see and know another—is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experience.
Vulnerability is about the willingness to see our lives and truly be seen in our lives. It is the means by which we are able to receive and experience redemption. This kind of vulnerability is what makes it possible for people with addiction to move into and through the steps of recovery. This kind of vulnerability allows those who have lived through unspeakable trauma to move toward healing without carrying the burden of shame. This kind of vulnerability creates space for repentance, forgiveness, and transformation. This kind of vulnerability in our communities lays a foundation for the deep listening and accountability it is going to take for us to begin creating a world that sees and treats all people fairly.
Life in community is an invitation for us to open ourselves to others in friendship and vulnerability, creating the possibility to learn and grow from our experiences with each other. It opens our souls to grace and renewal.
Vulnerability in meaningful relationships changes us and has the potential to transform our front porches, our yards, our neighborhoods, our communities, our homes, and our tables, not simply into spaces of welcome, but into spaces of radical hospitality that break open our hearts in love, new possibility, and healing.
Take a moment to be vulnerable and honest with yourself. Consider how your own fears of being fully seen—of others knowing your imperfections, your shortcomings, your needing help—have kept you from experiencing the gift of connection with others at work, with your friends, with your kids, with your spouse.
Make a list of ways you can stretch yourself to be more vulnerable in the community around you. Circle one of those things and put it on the calendar to do over the next week.
For a printable version of today's reflection Click Here!
For the Summer of Welcome Kids! reflection Click Here!
For the Summer of Welcome Kids! activity sheet Click Here!
Blessing
Loving God,
You call us to bear one another’s burdens. Help us to practice vulnerability in our lives in ways that allow us to bear one another’s burdens in friendship, in ways that fundamentally change our hearts and souls, in ways that turn strangers into friends and family.
Amen.
A little Table Talk for your table...
Write down or share with another person some of the ways you find practicing vulnerability to be difficult in your daily life.
Why can it be hard to be vulnerable with one another?
Do you remember a time when someone completely accepted you in a moment of vulnerability? What did that feel like? What did that do to your relationship?
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Talk about how a rainbow comes to be. Discuss how it takes both rain and sunshine to make the beautiful colors of a rainbow.
Help your kids make their own rainbows.
Ask your kids about the things that scare them and share some of your own fears as well. Spend some time talking about what courage can look like related to some of those fears.
Meet This WEek’s Writer...
The Welcome Table Team - We are “The Bunce Girls!” Originally from Lexington, North Carolina, we were raised surrounded by music, justice, and faith. We spent most of our Sunday afternoons gathered around an open table with family and friends where the food was plentiful, stories and laughter connected our hearts, and where the presence of each individual was held sacred. It’s those moments that have inspired The Welcome Table.
To hear more from TWT Team throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!