When Gratitude is Hard to Find
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Come just as you are, bringing whatever is on your heart today. Take a few moments and allow yourself to just be. Take a couple deep breaths, grab yourself a cup of coffee, light a candle, do something that brings you comfort. Allow yourself to be present in this moment.
Consider the glow of an ember – though its warmth may be faint, the flame still lives within.
Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.
— Eckhart Tolle
I have been finding treasures in places I did not want to search. I have been hearing wisdom from tongues I did not want to listen. I have been finding beauty where I did not want to look. And I have learned so much from journeys I did not want to take.
— Suzy Kassem
Psalm 42:5
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation.
Food for Thought
We are in the midst of the longest holiday season – that last quarter of the year when we move briskly from one holiday to the next. First is Halloween, a wonderfully fun day when all adults revert back to their childhood days to dress up in ridiculous costumes and eat as much candy as we want. And if we follow the trend of Hallmark movies and iHeart Radio, then right after Halloween comes Christmas. With blinking lights, red-ribboned wreaths, and holly jolly music, we usher in the season of hope and joy as early as November 1st.
I get it – I love Christmas, too – I understand the eagerness to get into the spirit, but there is supposed to be another holiday in there! It is a holiday given to gratitude – Thanksgiving!
Maybe we feel inclined to rush past it because gratitude can be so hard to find at times.
On a Thanksgiving not too long ago, when gratitude seemed to be the word of the moment for so many things – books, lists, seasons – I found myself coming out of my own season where everything for which I was grateful was turned over. A job eliminated. A living situation overturned. A relationship in a reset. A friend told me I was in the flow of the river, and it was whitewater. It was that indeed. As a kayaker, I know to aim for the “V” and paddle just enough to stay upright. But being upright isn’t the same as being settled.
So gratitude was indeed difficult for me to find.
We conflate gratitude and thankfulness, I think. At least I do. I see thankfulness as a momentary sentiment in response to something that happens – a gift given by a friend, a stranger holding the door, or a phone call from my pastor. Gratitude, however, is more like a spiritual practice. It is a deep sense of gratefulness – like I don’t deserve this something I have, yet here I am living it out.
I looked around at one point during this time and said to myself out loud, “What DO you have?” The answer seemed to come from within – or without, I’m not sure. I HAVE a house. I HAVE a chance to do this differently. I HAVE a network of people who care. I HAVE a God who loves and sees me. I HAVE my faith… though it all seems to be a tumbled-up wave at the moment, I HAVE.
Life doesn’t always look like what I had planned. The turning points have not always been on my terms – a huge ego blow at times. Yet the life I have is one of growth and new things. Familiar for sure, but with a different eye on the care I give it, and the thought I put into it.
I have realized I’m getting to the other side of things. I am reclaiming myself in ways I had forgotten. I am okay even if I don’t know why these things happened. I am resilient if nothing else.
Gratitude runs deep, as if springing up from the calmer depths beneath the rapids, from beneath the fury of the hustle and bustle of the season, from beneath the torrents of life’s unexpected twists and turns. It rises up from within, sometimes coming over you with tears, sometimes with deep laughter, and sometimes with a deep sense that all things will be well.
If you find yourself in a place where gratitude is hard to find, give yourself permission to be in that space. If you feel ready to experience gratitude, start small – in the room right where you are, find three things for which you are grateful and voice your gratitude.
The holidays are almost upon us and maybe you are finding yourself slightly nervous. It can be hard to know how to navigate or approach all that might divide us if brought up in conversation. To help our readers navigate this season, our team created a short resource to provide you with Five Things to Remember When Setting a Welcome Table for the Holidays! We hope it will help you set a welcoming space before your guests even arrive!
For a printable version of today's reflection Click Here!
Blessing
Loving God,
Give us patience during times when gratitude is hard to find, and the faith that it will indeed be found.
Amen.
A little Table Talk for your table...
Share with a friend about a time when you found it difficult to experience gratitude.
What helped you shift out of that space? Was it your support system, an event, words of wisdom?
Together, think of ways you can support a friend as they move through seasons where gratitude is hard to find. Could you check in regularly with them, go for a walk together, listen as they share with you?
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Talk to your kiddo about gratitude. What is it, and where does it come from?
Help them create a list of five things for which they are grateful.
Perhaps encourage them to say a daily prayer of thanksgiving, thanking God for five new things each day.
Meet This WEek’s Writer...
Khette Cox is an ordained minister who works as a chaplain in healthcare, and in her spare time is learning the piano, enjoys watching live music, and loves life with humor and a sense of the sacred. She lives in Old Hickory, TN where you will probably find her on her front porch with Felix, her Newfie mix, waving at her neighbors.
To hear more from Khette throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!